It's more fun in the Balcony!

The first of Lugosi's famed "Monogram Nine" pictures, and one of the more interesting films he'd ever make in his career. Which isn't too say that it's GOOD you understand; it sure is fascinating, though, mostly for all the wrong reasons but then, it does boast director Joseph H. Lewis, who went on to make Gun Crazy and The Big Combo, and not for nothin', but when you've got The Invisible Ghost on your resume, having Gun Crazy on there too sure doesn't hurt your place in cinema history.

Bela is disturbed by the disappearance years ago of his wife, who ran off with some other guy who no doubt wasn't Hungarian. When I say "disturbed", I don't mean "annoyed" or "vexed", I mean, oh, "unhinged" and "demented". He sets a place for her at the table, has his faithful servant Clarence Muse serve her soup, compliments her on how particularly beautiful she looks on any given occasion, and is quite convinced that some day she'll return. Boy, is HE right, because she's actually living under the garage in a secret room; she'd been in an auto accident that gave her brain damage and she's cared for and fed by gardener Ernie Adams, and why he does that we'll never know, but "abject stupidity" is part of the norm with Monogram scripts, so please hush. The plot of the film, such as it is, is that Mrs. Lugosi (played by, of all people, Betty Compson, and if you just said to yourself, "Surely not the Betty Compson from Docks of New York and the 1930 version of The Spoilers? Not the Betty Compson who was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress? SHE didn't end up on Poverty Row, did she? Please, tell me this is some OTHER Betty Compson! PLEASE TELL ME THAT!" To which I can only say, "Life ain't easy, pal, life ain't easy." To say that she's the best actor in this film is like getting a blow job in the bathroom of a McDonald's and then announcing you finally had something there you liked.

Well, on THAT possibly inappropriate note, we return to our film and find Betty wandering around the grounds of Manor Lugosi, where her husband occasionally finds her peering in the window, which sets him off into a homicidal rage and he strangles one of the servants. Apparently, this has been going on for YEARS and (a) the police can't figure out who is behind this, and (b) they don't have any trouble whatsoever hiring new servants. Bela also has a daughter, Loretta Young's lookalike sister but not the one that's Sally Blane, no, this lookalike sister is Polly Ann Young, and she's engaged to a nice young man who used to sleep with the household's new maid, and so when she's murdered he's accused, despite the fact that nearly a hundred other servants have been strangled in the same house, and he's executed but his twin brother shows up to woo Polly Ann and figure out who REALLY killed the girl and I TOLD you Monogram pictures were stupid and by the way, both brothers are played by John McGuire and neither of them can act. Neither can Polly Ann or maid Terry Walker or police detective George Pembroke, who apparently was instructed to "dress like a police detective" and so wears a trench coat and fedora and chomps on an unlit cigar in every scene he's in, no matter where or what he's doing. Seriously, this is one of the worst-acted films I've ever seen. Clearly, director Lewis was concentrating on other things, because it's terrific to look at, with a lot of unusual shots and camera angles and long takes and weird POVs and stuff like that, way above the Monogram Pictures norm.

And then there's that Lugosi fellow.

See, here's the thing... When that ol' debbil takes him over, he acts like a somnambulist, staggering around the house in a daze, arms outstretched, fingers flexing for a warm throat to crush. Lewis lights him from below, so his face is filled with the shadows of eerie madness. In 1941, in the gloom of a darkened theatre, I'm certain it was most horrifying, and worthy of the good name of Bela Lugosi, Master of Screen Terror. Seriously, it's scary. Um, well, that is to say in 1941 it was. Now? If you don't laugh out loud and think it's one of the stupidest things you've ever seen, it's because you fell asleep during the film, always a possibility with these things. It's a rip-snorter. And only Lugosi can say "Apple Pie? My! That WILL be a treat!" and make it sound terrifying. But fret not, there's a lot of million-dollar stupid Monogram dialog in the film for EVERYONE to say.

Million-dollar stupid Monogram dialog:
Cop in trench coat and fedora, chomping on unlit cigar: "All we want to know is if the fellow's crazy."
Aged, wise psychiatrist guy: "That's very easy to determine."
Rotten actor twin brother man: "Is it possible, doctor, for a man to be normal, say, for two or three months at a time and then go completely insane for an hour or two?"
Psychiatrist: "Yes. Quite common!"
Bela: "This should be most interesting."

Yeah, it SHOULD be, huh?

Actually, as mentioned, the film IS interesting; director Lewis takes crap and makes a tasty omelet out of it (so to speak). There's also something to be said for letting Bela be Bela; none of this "bill him prominently but have him play the red-herring butler or groundskeeper who's only in a few scenes" when Lugosi was at Monogram or PRC, peoples. How many of YOU have got to spend the better part of an hour wandering through a big, dark house with a flashlight under your chin? I mean, in a movie, not in real life.

I always wanted to give a shout out to Clarence Muse, who plays the Negro manservant with dignity and poise and is also one of the best things in the picture. Nice to see a character like this as something other than comic relief.

The Invisible Ghost is in the public domain, meaning it's on a thousand or so DVDs, but the Roan Group also offers it and they have a nice print of it, not great but nice enough until the Criterion folks finally do something with this film.

The first of Lugosi's famed "Monogram Nine" pictures, and one of the more interesting films he'd ever make in his career. Which isn't too say that it's GOOD you understand; it sure is fascinating, though, mostly for all the wrong reasons but then, it does boast director Joseph H. Lewis, who went on to make Gun Crazy and The Big Combo, and not for nothin', but when you've got The Invisible Ghost on your resume, having Gun Crazy on there too sure doesn't hurt your place in cinema history.

Bela is disturbed by the disappearance years ago of his wife, who ran off with some other guy who no doubt wasn't Hungarian. When I say "disturbed", I don't mean "annoyed" or "vexed", I mean, oh, "unhinged" and "demented". He sets a place for her at the table, has his faithful servant Clarence Muse serve her soup, compliments her on how particularly beautiful she looks on any given occasion, and is quite convinced that some day she'll return. Boy, is HE right, because she's actually living under the garage in a secret room; she'd been in an auto accident that gave her brain damage and she's cared for and fed by gardener Ernie Adams, and why he does that we'll never know, but "abject stupidity" is part of the norm with Monogram scripts, so please hush. The plot of the film, such as it is, is that Mrs. Lugosi (played by, of all people, Betty Compson, and if you just said to yourself, "Surely not the Betty Compson from Docks of New York and the 1930 version of The Spoilers? Not the Betty Compson who was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress? SHE didn't end up on Poverty Row, did she? Please, tell me this is some OTHER Betty Compson! PLEASE TELL ME THAT!" To which I can only say, "Life ain't easy, pal, life ain't easy." To say that she's the best actor in this film is like getting a blow job in the bathroom of a McDonald's and then announcing you finally had something there you liked.

Well, on THAT possibly inappropriate note, we return to our film and find Betty wandering around the grounds of Manor Lugosi, where her husband occasionally finds her peering in the window, which sets him off into a homicidal rage and he strangles one of the servants. Apparently, this has been going on for YEARS and (a) the police can't figure out who is behind this, and (b) they don't have any trouble whatsoever hiring new servants. Bela also has a daughter, Loretta Young's lookalike sister but not the one that's Sally Blane, no, this lookalike sister is Polly Ann Young, and she's engaged to a nice young man who used to sleep with the household's new maid, and so when she's murdered he's accused, despite the fact that nearly a hundred other servants have been strangled in the same house, and he's executed but his twin brother shows up to woo Polly Ann and figure out who REALLY killed the girl and I TOLD you Monogram pictures were stupid and by the way, both brothers are played by John McGuire and neither of them can act. Neither can Polly Ann or maid Terry Walker or police detective George Pembroke, who apparently was instructed to "dress like a police detective" and so wears a trench coat and fedora and chomps on an unlit cigar in every scene he's in, no matter where or what he's doing. Seriously, this is one of the worst-acted films I've ever seen. Clearly, director Lewis was concentrating on other things, because it's terrific to look at, with a lot of unusual shots and camera angles and long takes and weird POVs and stuff like that, way above the Monogram Pictures norm.

And then there's that Lugosi fellow.

See, here's the thing... When that ol' debbil takes him over, he acts like a somnambulist, staggering around the house in a daze, arms outstretched, fingers flexing for a warm throat to crush. Lewis lights him from below, so his face is filled with the shadows of eerie madness. In 1941, in the gloom of a darkened theatre, I'm certain it was most horrifying, and worthy of the good name of Bela Lugosi, Master of Screen Terror. Seriously, it's scary. Um, well, that is to say in 1941 it was. Now? If you don't laugh out loud and think it's one of the stupidest things you've ever seen, it's because you fell asleep during the film, always a possibility with these things. It's a rip-snorter. And only Lugosi can say "Apple Pie? My! That WILL be a treat!" and make it sound terrifying. But fret not, there's a lot of million-dollar stupid Monogram dialog in the film for EVERYONE to say.

Million-dollar stupid Monogram dialog:
Cop in trench coat and fedora, chomping on unlit cigar: "All we want to know is if the fellow's crazy."
Aged, wise psychiatrist guy: "That's very easy to determine."
Rotten actor twin brother man: "Is it possible, doctor, for a man to be normal, say, for two or three months at a time and then go completely insane for an hour or two?"
Psychiatrist: "Yes. Quite common!"
Bela: "This should be most interesting."

Yeah, it SHOULD be, huh?

Actually, as mentioned, the film IS interesting; director Lewis takes crap and makes a tasty omelet out of it (so to speak). There's also something to be said for letting Bela be Bela; none of this "bill him prominently but have him play the red-herring butler or groundskeeper who's only in a few scenes" when Lugosi was at Monogram or PRC, peoples. How many of YOU have got to spend the better part of an hour wandering through a big, dark house with a flashlight under your chin? I mean, in a movie, not in real life.

I always wanted to give a shout out to Clarence Muse, who plays the Negro manservant with dignity and poise and is also one of the best things in the picture. Nice to see a character like this as something other than comic relief.

The Invisible Ghost is in the public domain, meaning it's on a thousand or so DVDs, but the Roan Group also offers it and they have a nice print of it, not great but nice enough until the Criterion folks finally do something with this film.

 OPERATION PETTICOAT (1959)

 THE VAMPIRE'S GHOST (1945)

 S.O.S. TIDAL WAVE (1939)

 RETURN OF THE APE MAN (1944)

 THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)

 PORKY PIG 101 (1935-1943)

 TOPPER (1937)

 ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MARVEL 

 ONE MILLION B.C. (1940)

 DECOY: THE COMPLETE SERIES

 BLANCHE (1971)

 

Absurd (Severin Films BD $34.98, DVD $19.98) Another gruesome offering from Joe D’Amato; also released as Zombie 6 and The Grim Reaper 2, and that’s the good thing about these things: you can virtually release ‘em as anything.

Andrei Rublev (Criterion BD $49.95, DVD $39.95) 1966 film from Andrei Tarkovsky about the renowned Russian painter. Includes the director’s 1966 preferred cut plus the censored Soviet release.

The Baby (Arrow Video BD $39.95) 1973 low-budget horror cult favorite about a grown man who acts like a baby, possibly lethally.

Berserk / Strait-Jacket (Mill Creek BD $14.98) Joan Crawford double-feature postponed from last month.

The Bride (Shout! Factory BD $29.99) Gawd-awful remake from 1985 starring (get this) Sting as Dr. Frankenstein and Jennifer Beals as the lady he creates.

The Cyclops (Warner Archive BD $21.99) We live for releases like this: radiation turns a crashed test pilot into a 50-foot one-eyed monster! And it’s from Bert I. “Mr. BIG” Gordon and was released in that magical monster movie year of 1957! And it stars Lon Chaney and Gloria Talbott! Our easy pick for Official ITB BEST Release of the Month!

The Day of the Jackal (Arrow Video BD $39.95) Fred Zinnemann directed Edward Fox in this quintessential 1973 political thriller about a plot to kill DeGaulle.

Exorcist II: The Heretic (Shout! Factory BD $34.92) This 1977 sequel from John Boorman with Richard Burton(!) as the priest is NOT the absolute worst movie we’ve ever seen… but it’s on the shortlist.

The Farmer's Daughter (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $14.95) Oscar® winner Loretta Young involved in a political rivalry/romance with Joseph Cotten in this 1947 classic.

Good Times (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) William Friedkin directed (making his non-documentary debut) and Sonny and Cher star in their film debut (1967) in a simply terrible non-plot musical mélange.

The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday (Kino BD $29.95) 1976 comedy-western with Lee Marvin, Oliver Reed, Robert Culp, Elizabeth Ashley and Sylvia Miles.

Joaquim Pedro De Andrade: Complete Films (Kino BD $59.95) Brazilian cinema magic! Includes the features Garrincha: Hero of the Jungle (1963), The Priest and the Girl (1966), Macunaima (1969), The Conspirators (1972), Conjugal Warfare (1974), and The Brazilwood Man (1982), plus eight short subjects.

The Man Who Cheated Himself (Flicker Alley BD $39.95) The latest restoration from Film Noir Foundation, UCLA and Flicker Alley, this is a 1950 crime drama with Lee J. Cobb as a cop covering up a murder he himself committed. Jane Wyatt co-stars.

Queen of Outer Space (Warner Archive BD $21.99) One of the great science-fiction films of all time, but you know how loosely we bandy about the word “great.” Laurie Mitchell is the Queen of Venus and Zsa Zsa Gabor(!) is her scheming handmaiden in this daffy, wonderful Technicolor splendor from 1958.

A Raisin in the Sun (Criterion BD $39.95, DVD $29.95) 1961 film version of the groundbreaking Broadway play featured the entire New York cast, led by Sidney Poitier and Ruby Dee.

The Swarm (Warner Archive BD $21.99) Irwin Allen directs killer bees and an all-star cast in one of the most notorious film flops of all time, 1978. Stung stars include, in alphabetical order, Michael Caine, Richard Chamberlain, Olivia de Havilland(!), Patty Duke, José Ferrer, Henry Fonda, Lee Grant, Fred MacMurray, Slim Pickens, Katharine Ross, and Richard Widmark. Yikes!

Trapeze (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) Carol Reed directs a 1956 movie about circus people, with Burt Lancaster, Gina Lollobrigida and Tony Curtis in tights.

Welcome to the Dollhouse (Sony BD $24.96) Todd Solondz’ masterful 1995 black comedy about a geek girl who badly wants to go wild. Heather Mattarazo stars.

The Adventures of Prince Achmed (Milestone BD $39.95) Lotte Reiniger’s 1926 delightful animated silent feature, filmed in silhouettescope, plus a bevy of bonus animated shorts.

The Blood Island Collection (Severin BD $79.99) Notorious 1960s gore-and-nudity films from director Eddie Romero and star John Ashley, for the most part, filmed in the Philippines. Includes Brides of Blood, Mad Doctor of Blood Island, Beast of Blood, Terror is a Man. Also available separately ($29.98 each); the boxed set includes a CD of music from the films.

The Blue Dahlia (Shout! Factory BD $27.99) Murder and Mystery and a “honey of a rough ‘em up romance” (NY Times) in this noir classic, 1946, from director George Stevens and Alan Ladd, Veronica Lake, and William Bendix.

Bogart & Bacall: The Complete Collection (Warner Bros. BD $39.99) Well, as I’m sure you’re all aware, this will contain To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Dark Passage, and Key Largo. Of course.

Cabaret (Warner Archive BD $21.99) Bob Fosse directed this hit 1972 musical loosely adapted from the Broadway show; Cabaret is the answer to the trivia question, “Which movie won the most Oscars® without winning Best Picture?” One of the trophies went home to star Liza Minnelli.

De Palma & De Niro: The Early Films (Arrow US BD $69.95) What fresh hell is this? Includes The Wedding Party (1963), Greetings (1968), and Hi, Mom! (1970).

Divorce in the Family (Warner Archive DVD $21.99) On of Jackie Cooper’s first MGM features (1932), a drama with Lewis Stone and Jean Parker.

Fanchon the Cricket (Flicker Alley BD+DVD Combo, $39.95) 1915 film with Mary Pickford, newly restored with a specially commissioned score courtesy of the Pickford Institute. Also available today, Miss Pickford as Little Annie Rooney (1925), same company, formats, and price.

The Fifth Floor (Code Red BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) A young disco dancer overdoses and is committed to an asylum and that’s enough plot for any of us, I should think, regarding this 1978 film.

The Jerk (Shout! Factory BD $39.95) One of those “film classics” I’ve never seen; Carl Reiner directed, 1979, Steve Martin’s big-screen breakout role. My dad thought this movie was hysterical, for what THAT’S worth.

The Last Movie (Arbelos Films BD $39.99, DVD $29.99) Dennis Hopper directed and stars in this notorious flop from 1971, filmed in Peru with Michelle Phillips and Peter Fonda. Easy Rider it ain’t.

Made for Each Other (Kino BD $29.95) Jimmy Stewart and Carole Lombard get married on the day they meet, and have to deal with the consequences later. John Cromwell directs for David O. Selznick, 1939. Also available today, same format and price, Selnick’s 1937 screwball comedy Nothing Sacred, with Miss Lombard and Fredric March.

Man of the People (Warner Archive DVD $21.99) Joseph Calleia is an idealistic Italian immigrant who tangles with gangsters in this 1937 drama with an interesting cast, including Florence Rice, Ted Healy, and Thomas Mitchell.

Passion Flower (Warner Archive DVD $21.99) 1930 love story with Kay Francis and Charles Bickford.

Perversion Story (Mondo Macabro BD $29.95) No idea, but it was directed by Lucio Fulci, 1969.

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (Warner Archive BD $21.99) In the 1970s Hammer Films wrung what it could out of Christopher Lee and a set of blood-shot eye contact lenses. The results, my friends, were not pretty.

School for Love (Futures Vedettes) (Cinetrove International BD $29.98) 1955 role for sexpot Brigitte Bardot.

Some Like It Hot (Criterion BD $39.95, DVD $29.95) Many people consider Billy Wilder’s 1959 classic the greatest of all screen comedies; Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon co-star.

Take It Out in Trade (AGFA BD $29.95) Long-lost 1970 Ed Wood softcore shabbyfest (he starred in, wrote, and directed it).

Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure (Warner Archive BD $21.99) Gordon Scott is a literate Tarzan in this 1959 installment of the long-running series; Anthony Quayle and Sean Connery co-star in what fans consider one of the best of all Tarzan pictures (hence the title, I guess).

Topper Returns (VCI BD $29.95) 1941 conclusion to the Topper trilogy from the Hal Roach studio. Roland Young and Billie Burke return from the earlier films; the spunky she-spirit this time is Joan Blondell. (The first Topper film is already on Blu-ray; the second film in the series is being released later this month.)

The Thirteenth Chair (Warner Archive DVD $21.99) Includes both the 1929 Todd Browning-directed version with Bela Lugosi as a police inspector(!) and the 1939 remake directed by George Seitz and starring Lewis Stone in the Lugosi role.

The Wizard of Gore (Arrow Video BD $34.95) Oh, brother. If you don’t know the name of Herschell Gordon Lewis, flee from it. This is a film from 1970 that lives up to its title and down to its budget.

RELEASES FOR END OF NOVEMBER POSTED LATER THIS WEEK!

Bill of Divorcement (Kino BD $24.95, DVD $19.95) John Farrow’s 1940 remake of the 1932 classic with John Barrymore and Katharine Hepburn. This time, it’s Adolphe Menjou and Maureen O’Hara.

Desert Fury (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) Oooh, here’s a goodie: cult classic film noir from director Lewis Allen, 1947, with an all-star cast of Lizabeth Scott, John Hodiak, Burt Lancaster, Mary Astor and Wendell Corey. It’s all about… well, fury in the desert, one supposes.

The Midnight Man (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) Burt Lancaster stars and co-directed this 1974 film about a cop just outta stir for killin’ his wife and her lover.

The Mole People (Shout! Factory BD $27.99) 1956 sci-fi favorite with John Agar and Hugh Beaumont traveling to the bowels of the earth and running into some very kooky people. Universal is now licensing their remaining horror and science-fiction titles to other companies rather than releasing them to Blu-ray themselves, which is a good thing – lots more bonus material. This edition has two aspect ratios for the film, commentary, a making-of documentary, and the complete MST3K version of the film.

The Rover (a/k/a L'Avventuriero) (Kino BD $29.95, DVD $19.95) Based on the novel by Joseph Conrad, Anthony Quinn stars in this war picture and Terence Young directs, 1967.

To Sleep with Anger (Criterion BD $39.95, DVD $29.95) 1990 drama from writer-director Charles Burnett, who had previously made the brilliant Killer of Sheep. This was panned on release but has grown in reputation over the years; Danny Glover stars.

The Vengeance of She (Shout! Factory BD $29.99) By the time (1968) Hammer got ‘round to making a sequel to the hit She, Ursula Andress was long gone from the studio and the result is, well, not good. Olinka Bérová has to wreak the vengeance and no, we don’t know who she is, either.

Willard (Shout! Factory BD $29.99) Crispin Glover stars in the surprisingly-not-as-bad-as-you’d-think remake of the 1971 horror classic. The DVD contained a video of Crispin singing “Ben”, which we hope is included in this edition – it’s better than the movie.

Alligator (Shout! Factory UHD $39.98) It is a 1980 film about a giant, well, you go take a guess, and so we were bound to like it, but even then, it’s a fine film. No, really.

Bartleby (Indicator BD $34.99) 1970 British drama with Paul Scofield, and adaptation of a Melville story. Anthony Friedman directs.

Boat People (Criterion BD $39.95, DVD $29.95) 1982 Hong Kong drama about the plight of refugees after the fall of Saigon.

Brian Wilson: Long Promised Road (Dogwoof BD $29.98, DVD $24.98) Brian Wilson visits old haunts in Southern California and talks about his life. This 2021 documentary features a soundtrack of mostly unreleased solo tracks. The film was directed by Brent Wilson (no relation).

Cold War Creatures: Four Films from Sam Katzman (Arrow US BD $99.95) The previous release had replica lobby cards and a wealth of other bonuses, but here’s a “standard” edition without them (although still pricey). Includes Creature with the Atom Brain, The Werewolf, Zombies of Mora Tau, and The Giant Claw, all from the 1950s and all gems.

Dancing Pirate (Film Detective BD $24.95) Lloyd Corrigan directed this 1936 Technicolor musical with Charles Collins and Frank Morgan for RKO, and here’s a beautiful restoration of it.

The Devil's Men (Indicator $34.99) This 1976 Greek(!) horror film with Donald Pleasance and Peter Cushing didn’t sound familiar until I figured out it was also known as Land of the Minotaur, the only title I’ve ever seen it as.

Douglas Sirk Double Feature (Kino BD $29.95) Includes a pair of Sirk’s German films as Kino continues to mine the Third Reich film archives, with The Girl From the Marsh Croft (1935) and The Final Chord (1936).

The Great White Silence (RB UK BFI BD/DVD Dual Edition £14.99) Classic 1924 documentary about the 1910 attempt to plant the British flag at the South Pole.

The Indian Tomb  (RB UK Masters of Cinema BD £19.99) Fritz Lang co-wrote and Joe May directed this 1921 adventure film.

Lies and Deceit: Five Films by Claude Chabrol (Arrow US $99.95) Includes Poulet au Vinaigre (1985) and its sequel, Inspector Lavardin (1986); Madame Bovary (1991); Betty (1992); and L’Enfer (1993), which was produced from an unfilmed script by Henri-Georges Clouzot.

The Man Who Finally Died (RB UK Network £8.99) 1963 British thriller about a WWII refugee who, long believing his father dead, has to return to enemy territory when he gets a call that his dad is actually being held prisoner. Stanley Baker and Peter Cushing star.

The Monster of Camp Sunshine & Honeymoon of Terror (AGFA BD $34.99) Are they 1960s nudist camp films or monster movies? Heck, does it matter? I would like to think that there’s people out there (besides me) who sees AGFA on the label and knows it is worth a buy.

The Triple Echo (Indicator BD $34.99) A WWII suspense film with Glenda Jackson and Oliver Reed, directed by Michael Apted, 1972, and released in the U.S. as Soldier in Skirts.

The Unknown Man of Shandigor (Deaf Crocodile BD $29.99) If you’re looking for a 1967 spy spoof made in Switzerland and seen by about a dozen people since it was made, well, have we got a movie for you.

Village of the Giants (Kino BD $24.95) Bert I. Gordon, a score by Jack Nietzsche, dancing colossal teenagers, and huge ducks. Don’t ask, just snap it up. A Balcony favorite.

Voices (Indicator BD $34.99) 1973 film that sounds a lot like Don’t Look Now: strange things occur to a young married couple after their child is drowned.

The Bionic Woman: The Complete Series (Shout! Factory BD $159.98) Includes three Six Million Dollar Man/Bionic Woman reunion movies. I’ll admit, I didn’t watch either show.

Cinema's First Nasty Women (Kino BD $79.95, DVD $39.95) What, now?

Cornel Wilde Action Triple Feature (Critics’ Choice DVD $14.99) Includes Beyond Mombasa (1956, with Donna Reed); Shockproof (1949, dir. Douglas Sirk); and Edge of Eternity (1959, dir. Don Siegel).

Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (RB UK Second Sight Films £24.99) A new deluxe edition of the final Hammer Frankenstein picture, and director Fisher’s final film, too, 1974.

Glenn Ford Crime Triple Feature (Critics’ Choice DVD $14.99) Includes Human Desire (1954, with Gloria Grahame, dir. Fritz Lang); Mr. Soft Touch (1949, with Evelyn Keyes); and Affair in Trinidad (1952, with Rita Hayworth).

The Mummy (RB UK Second Sight Films BD £24.99) NOW we’re talkin’, one of the very best of the Hammer films, also directed by Mr. Fisher, 1959. A new edition with lots of bonus features, and I’m more excited about this than about the more highly-heralded horror “classics” being released next month for Halloween. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing star, natch.

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (Kino BD $24.95) 1979 made-for-TV movie with Jayne Kennedy and I have nothing else I want to say about. I didn’t even want to say THAT much.

Rosalind Russell Drama Triple Feature (Critics’ Choice DVD $14.99) Includes The Guilt of Janet Ames (1947, with Melvyn Douglas); Craig’s Wife (1936, with John Boles); and Five Finger Exercise (1962, with Richard Beymer).

Symphony for a Massacre (Cohen Media Group BD $29.95) Rarely seen 1963 French crime drama about – what else? – a drug deal gone bad. Directed by Jacques Deray.

The Tarzan Vault Collection (Film Detective BD $39.95, DVD $24.95) A tasty collection of Ape Man antics, including Elmo Lincoln in Tarzan of the Apes (1918) and Adventures of Tarzan (1921) and Herman Brix (a/k/a Bruce Bennett) in the 12-chapter serial The New Adventures of Tarzan (1935).

William Holden Comedy Triple Feature (Critics’ Choice DVD $14.99) Includes Miss Grant Takes Richmond (1949, with Lucille Ball); Meet the Stewarts (1942, with Frances Dee); and Father is a Bachelor (1950, with Coleen Gray).

The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom (Kino BD $24.95, DVD $14.95) 1968 British comedy about a married woman who keeps her lover in the attic; Shirley MacLaine and Richard Attenborough star.

The Dogs (Severin BD $29.95) A French doctor specializes in treating patients with dog bites in what is not, it seems, a horror movie. Hmmm. Gérard Depardieu stars, 1979.

The Human Monster (ClassicFlix BD $29.95, DVD $24.95) Bela! Bela! At last we have you on film! In 1939 he went to England to make this oddball murder mystery. Also called The Dark Eyes of London, and released in the U.S. by Monogram.

I Miss You, Hugs and Kisses (Severin BD $39.95) 1978 film, based on the true story of a man plotting to kill his wife. She’s played by Elke Sommer, so I have no idea why he’d want to do that.

The Night has Eyes (ClassicFlix BD $29.95, DVD $24.95) Top-notch 1942 British horror thriller that deserves more attention, and maybe now it’ll get it. A pair of beautiful young teachers are out on the moors looking for a friend of theirs who disappeared earlier; they find a very creepy house with a very creepy James Mason. Our selection as Official ITB Release of the Month!

Nudist Life plus 10 Days in a Nudist Camp and Shangri-La (Kino BD $29.95) Vol. 14 of Kino/Something Weird’s Forbidden Fruit collection of cult films. I’m guessing you can figure out the subject matter from the titles, or just drop us a line and we’ll explain. No photos, please.

Obsessed (ClassicFlix BD $29.95, DVD $24.95) Another British suspense film, this one from 1951 and originally entitled The Late Edwina Black. David Ferrar and Geraldine Fitzgerald star. Who put the arsenic in Edwina’s tea?

The Quiet Man (Paramount BD $17.99) Well, every couple of years somebody or other trots out a new release of John Ford’s beloved 1952 John Wayne – Maureen O’Hara valentine to Ireland.

Secret of the Incas (Kino BD $24.95, DVD $14.95) 1954 adventure film starring Charlton Heston, on location in Machu Picchu looking for a lost Incan artifact. Robert Young and Thomas Mitchell co-star, and look who else is here: singer Yma Sumac!

Two Films by Marguerite Duras (Criterion BD $59.95, DVD $39.95) Includes India Song (1975) and Baxter, Vera Baxter (1977).

Cry, the Beloved Country (Kino BD $29.95) A pair of Black ministers travel to South Africa and discover what life under Apartheid is like. Canada Lee and Sidney Poitier star and Zoltán Korda directs this courageous 1951 British film based on the 1948 novel by Alan Paton.

The Golden Fern (Zlaté Kapradí) (Deaf Crocodile BD $22.49) Jirí Weiss’ 1963 Czech fantasy about a shepherd who discovers a fern with magical powers – but once he is drafted, will it protect him?

The Mysterious Castle in the Carpathians (Deaf Crocodile BD $22.49) Another Czech fantasy, this one with vampires and comedy, directed by Oldřich Lipský, 1981.

Prague Nights (Deaf Crocodile BD $22.49) Say, who ARE these Deaf Crocodilians, anyway? Here we have a – what else? – Czech film from 1969 that offers three tales of terror, just like Black Sabbath! Directed by Jirí Brdecka, Milos Makovec, Evald Schorm.

Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx (VCI BD $19.99) Well, what have we here, you may well ask. We may well answer that it’s a 1970 Irish comedy with Gene Wilder as a man who sweeps up horse manure and then sells it as fertilizer, not the career he needs to impress lovely young American visitor Margot Kidder. Directed by Waris Hussein.

Thief (Criterion 4K UHD BD $49.95) Michael Mann directs a taut 1981 neo-noir with James Caan attempting to escape his criminal past, something that rarely works out well in noirs. Tuesday Weld plays his luckless spouse.

Two-Way Stretch (Kino BD $29.95) Prison inmates plot the perfect crime: sneak out of prison, commit a jewel robbery, and then break back into prison to give themselves an alibi. 1960 British comedy directed by Robert Day and starring Peter Sellers, Wilfred Hyde-White, and Lionel Jeffries.

In the early days of talkies, several independent producers decided that the popularity of silent serials would carry over and a 10, 12, or 15 episode chapterplay was a lucrative option for theatrical sales to bring adventure-loving patrons back week after week. Sadly, the high costs and low production values doomed most of these serials, and by the mid-1930s, after dreck like Young Eagles, The Clutching Hand, and The Black Coin, serials were left to production companies that worked directly through Columbia, Universal, and Republic for distribution. Two independent serials deserve special attention, however: early talkies with Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, produced because Burroughs had double-sold the valuable property, much to MGM’s chagrin when they began their Tarzan series with Johnny Weissmuller.

Tarzan the Fearless (1933) is a lost serial, although not a great loss, frankly, and the featurized version exists to bear that out. Buster Crabbe starred.

The New Adventures of Tarzan is quite a different story. Edgar Rice Burroughs was unhappy with several of the screen adaptations of his ape man, and when the MGM contract expired after two films, Burroughs decided to produce his own picture to show Lord Greystoke as intended, educated and quite loquacious when not vine-swinging. With ERB’s partner Ashton Dearholt, a plan was devised to produce an original story that could either be shown as a feature film, a 12 chapter serial, or as a “mini-feature” followed by the remaining episodes. Herman Brix won the lead; he reportedly was MGM’s original choice for their movie Tarzan but had to step out when he was injured doing a stunt in a football picture. Like Weissmuller and Crabbe, Brix (who is better remembered by the name he assumed after the war, Bruce Bennett) was an Olympic athlete; in his case, not swimming but track & field.

Dearholt, an actor (under the name Richard Holt, no relation to Jack or Tim) had a longing to get into production, and with the MGM Tarzan contract temporarily in abeyance, jumped at the chance to form Burroughs-Tarzan Enterprises for a series of pictures (of which only this one was made before Tarzan headed back to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer). As an added bonus, the production company moved to Guatemala, where the film would actually be made in the jungle, and frankly, from here the back story gets more interesting than the finished product: in addition to the dysentery that laid up the entire cast and crew throughout shooting, the heat and sun ruined hours of footage, and political troubles in the country kept the team constantly on the move. Even trickier, Dearholt fell in love with leading lady Ula Holt and left his wife for her, while Burroughs fell for a friend of Dearholt’s (who was half his age) and left his wife for HER and my GOODNESS, those hot Guatemalan nights.